The Rollercoaster of Puberty: Navigating Emotional and Behavioral Changes
By Nguyễn Long Huy 11.3
Life’s one big long process of growth. We grow everyday, and that’s probably a metaphor for something meaningful. On a more serious note, growing up is hard, seeing and feeling yourself change, having to carry more and more responsibilities as time goes on. Puberty is an essential part of growing up, and a particularly rough part of it at that. During puberty, the transition from childhood to adulthood, you go through rapid physical and mental changes. Your whole body changes, you get random growth spurts, your voice changes. Your mind practically gets entirely rewired, you think differently, the way you perceive yourself changes, you have heightened emotions, and also the fun bonus of mood swings; so it’s especially hard on your mind.
Emotional Struggles
Puberty is already a lot to handle all at once for young teenagers, add on top wild emotional changes and problems start to arise. Emotions aren’t something we can control at all times. Many of us have had many times where we found ourselves reacting impulsively, saying things we don’t mean, or feeling out of control. Dealing with these emotions requires patience, self-awareness, and support from others around us, and we learn that slowly over time.
“There were times I felt super overwhelmed, like my emotions were all over the place for no reason. One moment I’d be happy, and the next I’d feel upset over the smallest thing. It was frustrating because I didn’t always understand why I felt that way.” – an 8th grade student.
Behavioral Changes
Puberty changes the way we act, think, and respond to quite literally everything. One of the most common changes is that we become more moody. We become more irritable, rebellious, impatient, and more prone to outbursts.
“At that time, I became more hot-tempered and impulsive, but I did not regret the actions I had taken because after experiencing those actions, I could understand that they were really wrong and learn valuable lessons for the future.” – a literature teacher.
“I regret my actions during puberty. I started to become stubborn (…) as I never listened to [people]. Instead, I did the opposite. Even sometimes I will scream at them, almost like I can't control myself. Now that I know, I deeply regret it and never want to act that way [again].” – a 9th grade student
Hindsight is 20/20, and while reflecting on the past, it is then we realize that none of it was reasonable or worth the energy. Some of us may regret our actions, while others may accept that it was just part of puberty. What is important is that we recognize that our actions were wrong and learn from our mistakes.
Effects on Relationships
All these changes can have a big impact on our everyday lives, including our relationships with friends and family. Not only do we ourselves act differently, we treat others around us differently as well. Most noticeable in family relationships, teenagers become more distant, feel misunderstood, and arguments start to become more frequent. Friendships can strengthen from new interests and values, or be broken off as conflicts arise more easily as a result of heightened emotions. We often push people away despite needing love, guidance, and reassurance.
“My way of acting and thinking also influenced my relationships. Because of puberty, I do admit that at times I tend to be more aggressive to my close ones, for example arguing back or simply screaming at them because of something that didn’t go my way. Therefore this led them to distance me or form bad thoughts [of] me.” – a 9th grade student
“Since I couldn’t control myself, I tended to [argue with] my mom whenever something happened, even the slightest trouble. Now that I look back, I see myself as childish and annoying, and [I] never wanted to act that way, it's just my hormones were different.” – a 9th grade student
It’s a struggle that everyone has to go through in our teenage years. While we regret our actions now, perhaps in the future we’ll reminisce on the past and laugh at the way we were. We’ll miss the times when we were younger and had practically no responsibilities compared to now, and we’ll overlook those bad stages of puberty in doing so. So if it sounds like you’re also having the same problems that were mentioned, relax, you’ll be fine.
